Nikki Freaking Malvar

I have sadly realised that I cannot commit to anything.

I cannot commit to weekly television because I am too busy eating. I cannot commit to pursuing my dreams because I am still too busy eating. I cannot commit to boys because the ones who like me are too nice, and the ones I have raging boners for are invariably emotionally unavailable. I cannot commit to blogging because I am lazy, so I think posting non-committal pictures of cats will be a good start.

This is me in a nutshell. But get me out of the freaking nutshell, it is salty.

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  1. There is one place where we are all united in ugliness.

    Yes, this occurred to me today. There is one existing place, a place that is unforgiving (if at least for a moment) even to the aesthetically elite. This place is the dentist. 

    Bottom lips pulled down like gravity’s ultimate bitch, gums all for show, drool skating down the corners of mouths… No one could possibly look attractive, right? RIGHT?

    Or maybe I’m the only one who effortlessly turns into an Ogre in the chair, in which case, I IMPLORE YOU, stop thinking about the visuals.

    #justathought